The Time is Now

Now is the time, my friends, for me to focus on just me. I am always so concerned about what other people think of me and the person I eventually want to become, that I'm not taking the proper steps to get there. I realized tonight, though, that this is the only time in my entire life that I will be able to focus on me and not have to worry about a ton of other stuff. How great is that?! I mean, I have school and work and social stuff, but those things can help me truly figure myself out. School especially, because I really need to figure out what motivates me to work hard. I know I'm perfectly capable of working my butt off because I've done it before - just not this school year. I only have 2 1/2 weeks left of class before finals, so I really need to kick myself in the butt and get going. I have a lot of essay writing I've been putting off, but I just can't afford to do that anymore! I want to start working out regularly so I will feel better about myself, and just to get in shape. I also really want to work on my spiritual health because I've been seriously slacking. Today was fast sunday, and it was a really hard one for me. I am borderline for being hypoglycemic, so sometimes fasting can be rough. I stuck through it though because I kept my purpose in mind, and I have felt the spirit so strongly ever since. I absolutely love feeling the spirit, and I really miss having that in my life on a regular basis. I also really miss having a good relationship with God. For a while there I could see his hand in everything and I really felt like He was with me all the time. It was wonderful! It's like taking your absolute best friend around with you everywhere. I love Him! In order to do this I want to go to these last few devotionals and go to the temple more often. And I need to be praying all throughout the day, as well as reading my scriptures a whole lot more often. There are a few things I need to get figured out emotionally as well. My childhood home is for sale and my sister and I get to go see it soon. I think that even though it will hurt, it will be really good for me, and will help some of my emotional scars heal. I have a few friendships I want to strengthen as well.

I know I have a lot of things to work on right now, but I'm confident that I can do it if I try. I'll have to do a lot of praying for strength, motivation, and concentration, but I know God is up there helping me out. Well, here I go! Yay for soul searching in the middle of the night when you can't sleep! hahaha